Thursday, February 21, 2008

Who is better than Wanna Be Doctor? Be true to thyself

Runner of Blog: what up tough guy
Wanna be Doctor: sup tough guy - whats the dillio
Runner of Blog: nothing crazy just living
Wanna be Doctor: not bad
Wanna be Doctor: whats new
Runner of Blog: somoeone's gotta keep the rich richer
Wanna be Doctor: ur fighting the good fight
Wanna be Doctor: my man
Wanna be Doctor: keep it going
Runner of Blog: Someone has to stand up for the silent minority
Wanna be Doctor: tis true
Runner of Blog: if not me? then who? someone who will give the government more money at death! I THINK NOT
Runner of Blog: i can't live with that on my conscious
Wanna be Doctor: a true humanitarian - thats all i can say
Runner of Blog: Thanks buddy
Runner of Blog: similarly, I am sure thats why you are going into rehab medicine
Wanna be Doctor: very true, the weakest members of society i need to watch over them
Wanna be Doctor: faughn them back to civilization
Runner of Blog: not so you can selfishly fulfill your desire to help that poor illegal immigrant worker who has fallen, but rather you selflessly put yourself on the line to help those housewives who slipped on a ptach of ice and need to be massaged back to health
Wanna be Doctor: add quality to their life
Runner of Blog: We Rule
Wanna be Doctor: we do, don't we
Wanna be Doctor: the difference is one day i hope to use your services, while i hope that u never need mine

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Tall Blonde has daddy issues

Tall Blonde from Home: i remember the day my dad found the funnel i made
Tall Blonde from Home: he looked so pissed
Tall Blonde from Home: and then he turns and says....
Tall Blonde from Home: ((in a great big grissly bear voice)) "youre not thinking of drinking my good beer (that you stole) out of that thing...are you? Cause that would be wasting good beer)
Tall Blonde from Home: coolest dad comment ever
Runner of Blog: WOW
Tall Blonde from Home: it was classic really
Runner of Blog: that is amazing, but i am not sure it was good as when my dad told me my mom was greek by injection
Tall Blonde from Home: hahahahahahah[
Runner of Blog: akward
Tall Blonde from Home: no kidding
Tall Blonde from Home: ive had awkward moment with papa shigo too
Tall Blonde from Home: i was so wasted once that i took a shower with my clothes on...and proceed to step out and get my foot stuck in the toliet bowl
Tall Blonde from Home: and jen was reacting so loud that my dad came up to see what was wrong and poor papa shigo had to pull my foot out of the toliet
Tall Blonde from Home: and just looks and me and says "we wont be telling your mother about this...ok?"

Glass Selling Jew - Not a Jew???

Runner of Blog:
Glass Selling Jew: that link u sent isnt loading
Glass Selling Jew: i keep tryin to click it
Runner of Blog: i hate you then
Glass Selling Jew: u were adopted
Glass Selling Jew: the thought of u makes me want to punch babies in the throat
Glass Selling Jew: still not workin homey
Runner of Blog: your fault
Glass Selling Jew: it was probably working b4 u went to the page and now it isnt
Glass Selling Jew: that means u broke it
Glass Selling Jew: cockboy
Runner of Blog: you broke it cause you don't love jesus
Glass Selling Jew: jesus was a jew
Runner of Blog: you killed him and thats why the website won't work
Glass Selling Jew: anyone worth anything knows that scientology is the only one true religion, and that all the other ones are just bs
Glass Selling Jew: im still a level 4 thetan
Glass Selling Jew: im trying to make it to a level 7
Glass Selling Jew: im sooo close i can feel it
Glass Selling Jew: almost fully cleanse
Glass Selling Jew: they say for another $86,000 i should be fully clear
Runner of Blog: this got really weird
Glass Selling Jew: i take it that u do not share my religious beliefs
Glass Selling Jew: you will see the light

Did you take your vitamins?

Fraternity Brother #1: whered you go buddy

Runner of Blog: got busy sorry - nothing against you

Fraternity Brother #1: its ok- its only hurt feelings, no worries

Runner of Blog: hahahhaha none for me to worry about

Runner of Blog: i was pissing today and got pissed off cause the color of my urine was clear

Runner of Blog: i took a multi vitamin and when it doesn't change colors i get pissed cause i figure its not working

Fraternity Brother #1: im the oppositie, i get angry when its yellow, but now i see your anger

Runner of Blog: very frustrating

Next Day


Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahahaha, mine was as clear as Maine spring

Runner of Blog: bet you didn't you take your multivitamin?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

26 Years Old does not mean you know how to take a piss

Fraternity Brother #1: what up wasnt paying attention today at work while I pissed and got it on my shirt
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAH really?
Fraternity Brother #1: yeah, i stink - literally
Runner of Blog: thats amazing...was it a splash back situation? or literally pissed on your hanging shirt
Fraternity Brother #1: just the shirt hanging down lower then i thought, and it took me a second to realize it
Runner of Blog: white shirt? is it yellow now
Fraternity Brother #1: blue shirt, it was a clear water piss, so ill live
Runner of Blog: considering my "specialness" whent it comes to pissing and drinking I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT
Fraternity Brother #1: hahhahahahaha never?
Runner of Blog: well none that i can remember

Another installment of Weird Friend

Weird Friend who only signs online to make of me is online

Weird Friend who only signs online to make of me: you little shit you

Weird Friend who only signs online to make of me is offline

This was in the span of 1 min.


Runner of Blog: alright think we are going to rock out "X" for bachelor party
Smooth as Sandpaper: ok cool
Runner of Blog: but you aren't invited
Smooth as Sandpaper: thas fine, i wasn't coming to your wedding anyway -i was just using u as an excuse to go to vegas
Runner of Blog: wow thats fucked up
Smooth as Sandpaper: thas fucked up? u telling me that im not invited isn't?
Runner of Blog: because you will always be invited to the wedding regardless of losing the invite to the bachelor party
Smooth as Sandpaper: this is a miserable conversation
Runner of Blog: damn it you are right - its going no where
Runner of Blog: maybe we can talk again later
Runner of Blog: although its pretty mature that we can accept that
Smooth as Sandpaper: maybe, hopefully it is a happier conversation
Runner of Blog: although its pretty mature that we can accept that the conversation sucked
Runner of Blog: I am downright impressed with us
Runner of Blog: just as easy could have turned into me calling you a douchebag
Smooth as Sandpaper: and me calling you a dirty goatfucker
Runner of Blog: but we are lucky it didn't go there
Smooth as Sandpaper: yes we are

Monday, February 11, 2008

I Love Garlic Powder

Fraternity Brother #1: how was the weekend?
Runner of Blog:
Fraternity Brother #1: end up getting sloppy?
(I went to visit the Fiance's Sister for her Boyfriend's birthday)
Runner of Blog: a little bit
Runner of Blog: we got an entire pie of pizza on the way home - i stole a bowl of garlic powder - came out from the pizza place running with a full bowl and their spoon
Runner of Blog: woke up on the gf's sister's couch fully clothed
Fraternity Brother #1: by day youre a fancy lawyer working with high priced clients and fancy man planning a wedding, by night youre a garlic powder stealing degenerate
Runner of Blog: When i woke up I looked in the pizza box there were 3 slices left, so I asked everyone if they happen to have any....
Runner of Blog: They said no...but i am hoping they were lying
Fraternity Brother #1: Probably not

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A little insight into my politics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer , and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1.The sixth would pay $3.The seventh would pay $7.The eighth would pay $12.The ninth would pay $18.The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).The se venth now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!""Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than me!""That's true" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!" "Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill! And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is exactly how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.