Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Runner of Blog: come on dude
Fraternity Brother #1: GF's boss (a chick) who is getting hitched this weekend, her and her fiance did that. i told him he was a giant fruit
Runner of Blog: does that even sound like me
Fraternity Brother #1: i had to check
Runner of Blog: come on dude
Fraternity Brother #1: ok i apologize for even asking. but people do weird shit when it comes to bachelor parties
Runner of Blog: the only weird thing i'll be doing - is being awesome
Fraternity Brother #1: thats what i want to hear
Fraternity Brother #1: and what does she bring home, organic vegan sausage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Runner of Blog: VEGAN
Runner of Blog: that fucking bitch
Runner of Blog: i am so angry with her
Fraternity Brother #1: how do you think i felt..........meatless sausage, i mean do the fucking math on that
Fraternity Brother #1: it cant be good, like doesnt even have a chance at being good
Runner of Blog: that is so fucking nasty
Runner of Blog: and selfish of her
Fraternity Brother #1: and shes like im just tryen to help you be healthy......and thats fine, thats nice i appreciate it. but if you want me to be healthy get a couple of apples, dont get me meatless meat
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Fraternity Brother #1: you bring cake to a tailgate? fag
Runner of Blog: dude i've been doing it for years
Fraternity Brother #1: so youve been gay for years, thats cool
Runner of Blog: WOW
Runner of Blog: oreo cake and beer! what could be better?
Fraternity Brother #1: if brought by a woman, fine whatever. but not by a dude
Runner of Blog: dessert after bbq
Fraternity Brother #1: quite frankly if youre gonna do a desert after a bbq it should be a deepfried twinkie or a deep fried oreo
Fraternity Brother #1: not a cake
Fraternity Brother #1: do you make the cake with a cute apron?
Runner of Blog: fuck you - I buy it
Fraternity Brother #1: i can picture you prancing up to the tailgate, with a cake in a box holding it by those fruity strings they wrap around a bakery box
Fraternity Brother #1: stick to what youre good at and bring beer
Runner of Blog: but i do bring beer also
Fraternity Brother #1: you're so hurt right now, arent you?
Runner of Blog: yes i am
Fraternity Brother #1: by beer do you mean wine coolers?
Fraternity Brother #1: im not dissing cake, cake is great. but for it to be a guys contribution at a tailgate, eh
Runner of Blog: u act like thats all i eat - we have burgers, steak, hot dogs, and sometimes sausage
Runner of Blog: lots and lots of beer
Fraternity Brother #1: im not doubting your ability to consume the deliciousness that is tailgate food, or even questioning the amount of beer you can drink (which id never do)
Fraternity Brother #1: what i am saying is that when it comes to a tailgate, everyone brings something. the last thing id do if i was apart of a tailgate is jump up and say, "ill bring the cake!'
Fraternity Brother #1: fuck, if all the meats and rolls and beer was accounted for, then id rather bring 70 bags of dorritos, but never would i volunteer cake
Fraternity Brother #1: let me take you through an exchange shannon and i had when planning a tailgate for jimmy buffett......
Fraternity Brother #1: Fraternity Brother #1's gf: "What should we have for desert? Fraternity Brother #1 aka Man: i dont give a shit. more beer?
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Fraternity Brother #1: the teacher asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up, and everyone said doctor, lawyer, teacher something like that....
Fraternity Brother #1: my answer was, 'i wanted to be a hammock sailsmen in key west'..... and the teacher was concerned that i didnt have the aspirations of others so my mom had to be brought in for a conference
Fraternity Brother #1: to this day my mom doesnt understand where at the young age i had learned about key west, but i was an odd kid
Fraternity Brother #1: her favorite story to tell of me is from kindgergarden another parent teacher conference that was called. we were all coloring in class, and i put my crayons down. and walked over to her desk and took her newspaper and sat down and started looking at it. clearly i didnt know how to read at the age of 5, but i was just looking at it.....
Fraternity Brother #1: the teacher came over and asked what i was doing and why wasnt i coloring. and she said i put the paper down in a huff, like she was bothering me and said, 'lets be honest. coloring and staying the line won't help me get in a good college. clearly more can be learned from reading a newspaper then from coloring goofy.' and i picked the paper up and started reading/looking at it.
Fraternity Brother #1: so my mom had to be brought in because i wasnt following the rest of the class
Fraternity Brother #1: very odd, i think it came from a lot of tv watching
Runner of Blog: I am feeling the movie cocktail was in there some where
Fraternity Brother #1: it was, loved that movie as a kid - totally, i remember watching that flick, commando, rambo, and the terminator over and over as a kid
Runner of Blog: i hope your parents put more love into your sister
Sensitive Guido Guy: what is your percentage now - avin is in (Referring to my Homecoming Appearance despite my advanced age)
Runner of Blog: i am 100% - because "Buddy not on blog yet" is going to come with me
Sensitive Guido Guy: thats serious
Runner of Blog: and if it sucks he'll drive me home or drive me to a location that doesn't suck
Sensitive Guido Guy: it probably will so lets get wasted quick
Sensitive Guido Guy: u always get chauffered around - how do you do that? your like miss daisy
Runner of Blog: hahahaha
Sensitive Guido Guy: or a mob gangster
Runner of Blog: because people know that i will sit home or sleep on a curb before driving home drunk
Sensitive Guido Guy: you should have buddy drive you in a black lincoln and sit in the back
Runner of Blog: and scream racist things at buddy?
Sensitive Guido Guy: hahahah
Runner of Blog: hahahahaha - if it does suck you can leave with me and crash at my condo
Sensitive Guido Guy: that soundsed semi gay
Runner of Blog: really? i meant it in the straightest way
Sensitive Guido Guy: hahah
Runner of Blog: i have 2 different rooms with 2 different beds or 3 walk in closets you can sleep in
Runner of Blog: you could theoretically have 3 doors between us that I would have open up before I cuddled with youSensitive Guido Guy: wow
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Smooth as Sandpaper: i needed 2 get my new cable box
Runner of Blog: how'd it work out? get raped?
Smooth as Sandpaper: i did notice this 1 thug staring at my ass as i wuz walking, but i guess he got over it
Runner of Blog: thats great
Smooth as Sandpaper: i don't kno if i should b happy that he didn't try 2 rape me, or sad at the fact that my ass wasn't good enough 4 him
Smooth as Sandpaper: haha
Runner of Blog: i was thinking that exact same thing, but didn't want the conversation to get weird
Smooth as Sandpaper: most of sour conversations do get weird
Smooth as Sandpaper: so y stop now
Runner of Blog: its true - i bet your jeans weren't tight enough
Smooth as Sandpaper: sux