Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Don't Question Runner of Blog

Fraternity Brother #1: youre not gonna do one of those joint parties are you? like where you and your group go to vegas, but the Fiance and her group also go to vegas at the sametime
Runner of Blog: come on dude
Fraternity Brother #1: GF's boss (a chick) who is getting hitched this weekend, her and her fiance did that. i told him he was a giant fruit
Runner of Blog: does that even sound like me
Fraternity Brother #1: i had to check
Runner of Blog: come on dude
Fraternity Brother #1: ok i apologize for even asking. but people do weird shit when it comes to bachelor parties
Runner of Blog: the only weird thing i'll be doing - is being awesome
Fraternity Brother #1: thats what i want to hear

Fraternity Brother's Girlfriend is Skating on thin Ice

Fraternity Brother #1: the woman went to the grocery store on sunday while i was driving back from nj, so i rattled off some shit i wanted for dinner, cause she isnt home any of the nights this week, so im on my own. so one of the things i wanted was sausages, 1. to make a meat sauce, 2. to make sausage and peppers
Fraternity Brother #1: and what does she bring home, organic vegan sausage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Runner of Blog: VEGAN
Runner of Blog: that fucking bitch
Runner of Blog: i am so angry with her
Fraternity Brother #1: how do you think i felt..........meatless sausage, i mean do the fucking math on that
Fraternity Brother #1: it cant be good, like doesnt even have a chance at being good
Runner of Blog: that is so fucking nasty
Runner of Blog: and selfish of her
Fraternity Brother #1: and shes like im just tryen to help you be healthy......and thats fine, thats nice i appreciate it. but if you want me to be healthy get a couple of apples, dont get me meatless meat

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I HATE Fraternity Brother #1

Runner of Blog: Future Father in Law made fun that I always bring cake to tailgating. So I explained to him "Its a personal issue - I am willing to accept that I have a problem, but when you take a bite of an oreo cake and wash it down with some ice cold beer, before'll see!"
Fraternity Brother #1: you bring cake to a tailgate? fag
Runner of Blog: dude i've been doing it for years
Fraternity Brother #1: so youve been gay for years, thats cool
Runner of Blog: WOW
Runner of Blog: oreo cake and beer! what could be better?
Fraternity Brother #1: if brought by a woman, fine whatever. but not by a dude
Runner of Blog: dessert after bbq
Fraternity Brother #1: quite frankly if youre gonna do a desert after a bbq it should be a deepfried twinkie or a deep fried oreo
Fraternity Brother #1: not a cake
Fraternity Brother #1: do you make the cake with a cute apron?
Runner of Blog: fuck you - I buy it
Fraternity Brother #1: i can picture you prancing up to the tailgate, with a cake in a box holding it by those fruity strings they wrap around a bakery box
Fraternity Brother #1: stick to what youre good at and bring beer
Runner of Blog: but i do bring beer also
Fraternity Brother #1: you're so hurt right now, arent you?
Runner of Blog: yes i am
Fraternity Brother #1: by beer do you mean wine coolers?
Fraternity Brother #1: im not dissing cake, cake is great. but for it to be a guys contribution at a tailgate, eh
Runner of Blog: u act like thats all i eat - we have burgers, steak, hot dogs, and sometimes sausage
Runner of Blog: lots and lots of beer
Fraternity Brother #1: im not doubting your ability to consume the deliciousness that is tailgate food, or even questioning the amount of beer you can drink (which id never do)
Fraternity Brother #1: what i am saying is that when it comes to a tailgate, everyone brings something. the last thing id do if i was apart of a tailgate is jump up and say, "ill bring the cake!'
Fraternity Brother #1: fuck, if all the meats and rolls and beer was accounted for, then id rather bring 70 bags of dorritos, but never would i volunteer cake
Fraternity Brother #1: let me take you through an exchange shannon and i had when planning a tailgate for jimmy buffett......
Fraternity Brother #1: Fraternity Brother #1's gf: "What should we have for desert? Fraternity Brother #1 aka Man: i dont give a shit. more beer?

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Lets Delve deeper into the psyche of Fraternity Brother #1

Fraternity Brother #1: my mother was tellen me a story from when i was in grade school.....

Fraternity Brother #1: the teacher asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up, and everyone said doctor, lawyer, teacher something like that....

Fraternity Brother #1: my answer was, 'i wanted to be a hammock sailsmen in key west'..... and the teacher was concerned that i didnt have the aspirations of others so my mom had to be brought in for a conference

Fraternity Brother #1: to this day my mom doesnt understand where at the young age i had learned about key west, but i was an odd kid

Fraternity Brother #1: her favorite story to tell of me is from kindgergarden another parent teacher conference that was called. we were all coloring in class, and i put my crayons down. and walked over to her desk and took her newspaper and sat down and started looking at it. clearly i didnt know how to read at the age of 5, but i was just looking at it.....

Fraternity Brother #1: the teacher came over and asked what i was doing and why wasnt i coloring. and she said i put the paper down in a huff, like she was bothering me and said, 'lets be honest. coloring and staying the line won't help me get in a good college. clearly more can be learned from reading a newspaper then from coloring goofy.' and i picked the paper up and started reading/looking at it.

Fraternity Brother #1: so my mom had to be brought in because i wasnt following the rest of the class

Fraternity Brother #1: very odd, i think it came from a lot of tv watching

Runner of Blog: I am feeling the movie cocktail was in there some where

Fraternity Brother #1: it was, loved that movie as a kid - totally, i remember watching that flick, commando, rambo, and the terminator over and over as a kid

Runner of Blog: i hope your parents put more love into your sister

Welcome Sensitive Guido Guy

Sensitive Guido Guy: what is your percentage now - avin is in (Referring to my Homecoming Appearance despite my advanced age)

Runner of Blog: i am 100% - because "Buddy not on blog yet" is going to come with me

Sensitive Guido Guy: thats serious

Runner of Blog: and if it sucks he'll drive me home or drive me to a location that doesn't suck

Sensitive Guido Guy: it probably will so lets get wasted quick

Sensitive Guido Guy: u always get chauffered around - how do you do that? your like miss daisy

Runner of Blog: hahahaha

Sensitive Guido Guy: or a mob gangster

Runner of Blog: because people know that i will sit home or sleep on a curb before driving home drunk

Sensitive Guido Guy: you should have buddy drive you in a black lincoln and sit in the back

Runner of Blog: and scream racist things at buddy?

Sensitive Guido Guy: hahahah


Runner of Blog: hahahahaha - if it does suck you can leave with me and crash at my condo

Sensitive Guido Guy: that soundsed semi gay

Runner of Blog: really? i meant it in the straightest way

Sensitive Guido Guy: hahah

Runner of Blog: i have 2 different rooms with 2 different beds or 3 walk in closets you can sleep in

Runner of Blog: you could theoretically have 3 doors between us that I would have open up before I cuddled with you

Sensitive Guido Guy: wow

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Should I be wondering about Smooth

Runner of Blog: why did u go to the ghetto
Smooth as Sandpaper: i needed 2 get my new cable box
Runner of Blog: how'd it work out? get raped?
Smooth as Sandpaper: i did notice this 1 thug staring at my ass as i wuz walking, but i guess he got over it
Runner of Blog: thats great
Smooth as Sandpaper: i don't kno if i should b happy that he didn't try 2 rape me, or sad at the fact that my ass wasn't good enough 4 him
Smooth as Sandpaper: haha
Runner of Blog: i was thinking that exact same thing, but didn't want the conversation to get weird
Smooth as Sandpaper: most of sour conversations do get weird
Smooth as Sandpaper: so y stop now
Runner of Blog: its true - i bet your jeans weren't tight enough
Smooth as Sandpaper: sux