Thursday, May 31, 2007

People are FIGHTING to get on this Blog

Wannabe Long Islander: oh, and do i have a special name on your blog yet?
Runner of Blog: hahah no because you have offered no conversations thus far
Wannabe Long Islander: would you like to discuss "third party friend's" mommy issues and post that for the world to see?
Runner of Blog: hahahahahha, might be a tad personal for that
Wannabe Long Islander: bummer

Weird friend strikes again

Weird Friend Who signs online to make fun of me: OLD MAN
Weird Friend Who signs online to make fun of me: HOW ARE THE DENTURES
Weird Friend Who signs online to make fun of me: STILL EATING THROUGH A STRAW
Weird Friend Who signs online to make fun of me is offline

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Fraternity Brother #1 has a new Homeless friend

Fraternity Brother #1: in my new office i have a view of the street, and im fascinated by this homeless man who stands in the same place all day long
Runner of Blog: wow all day?
Fraternity Brother #1: the commitment he has is shocking. i wonder how he has the dedication to get out there for 8am stand there till 6, but doesn't have the motivation to go to work
Runner of Blogs: talking to himself?
Fraternity Brother #1: nope completely sane
Runner of Blog: that is incredible
Fraternity Brother #1: and he stands the whole time!!!!!
Fraternity Brother #1: i don't get it! he can work at mcdonalds, get money, and a meal all in one
Runner of Blog: you should talk to him about it
Fraternity Brother #1: another guy in my office and i are thinking of doing an intervention or buying a bullhorn to harass him from our window
Runner of Blog: i vote for an intervention - YOU could be th person that changes his life - You could bring back his family - you could bring hope to all his homeless friends
Fraternity Brother #1: BORING rather harass him

Bathroom issues

Runner of Blog: bathroom in new place is just alright
Fraternity Brother #1: same here man
Runner of Blog: not a fan of the auto-hand washer thing
Fraternity Brother #1: i got more stalls at this new place, not as spacious and not as clean
Fraternity Brother #1: i hate auto handwashers - ill decide how much water i need
Runner of Blog and temp - fuck the system
Fraternity Brother #1: seriously, nothing is more annoying then when the water shuts off on your still soapy hands and you have to pull them away from the sensor and then wave them infront again
Runner of Blog: freaking annoying

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Mr. Softee for President

Smooth as Sandpaper: just want to let u kno that when i got out of the gym b4, mister softee was waiting 4 me outside
Smooth as Sandpaper: haha couldn't resist
Runner of Blog: hahahahah no one can - its like crack to us fat kids at heart
Smooth as Sandpaper: so fuckin good
Runner of Blog: what did you get
Runner of Blog: HUGE fan of the two-tone cone
Smooth as Sandpaper: single cone, vanilla, choc. sprinkles
Runner of Blog: BAD ASS i would have went with chocolate cookie crunch stuff
Smooth as Sandpaper: well ur fat
Runner of Blog: lol because i would have substituted sprinkles for cookie crunch - thats what makes me fat?! really
Smooth as Sandpaper: yes
Runner of Blog: how about the fact that I eat Mr. Softee KNOWING that i will hurt later on
Smooth as Sandpaper: that just makes u stupid
Runner of Blog: so chocolate cookie crunch = fat / ignoring my lactose problem = stupid
Smooth as Sandpaper: umm, yea pretty much

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Avoid Barbar conversations

Fraternity Brother #1: there ya go. i gotta get a haircut after work, and im in no mood for it
Runner of Blog: then don't go bro
Fraternity Brother #1: no i need too. i just hate sitting in the chair for a half hour having forced conversation
Runner of Blog: my guy no chatting
Fraternity Brother #1: thats amazing
Runner of Blog: it really is nice
Fraternity Brother #1: i love when i get a non chatty person, i dont need to engage in 30 minutes of small talk
Runner of Blog: dude you just have to close your eyes
Fraternity Brother #1: hmmmmmmm an interesting tactic
Runner of Blog: just do it today - get in the chair and shut your eyes
Runner of Blog: if that doesn't work threaten him/her
Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahaha, either that or rub my hand on their thigh as they walk by, and blow them a kiss
Runner of Blog:or rub the sharp edge of a scissor across their skin and ask if they like"it" dangerous

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Weird Friend strikes again!

Weird Friend who IMs me just to make fun of me (1:13:41 PM): TESTICLE SUCKER
Weird Friend who IMs me just to make fun of me signed off at 1:14:28 PM.

Note that after calling me a ball licker - he signs off less than one minute later!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Tall Blonde is no longer a commercial watching fag! and her husband is a hick

Tall Blonde from home: score - i convinced the husband to get dvr (if you refer to an older post I determined that tall blonde was a commercial watching fag for not having a DVR/TIVO)
Runner of Blog: NICE -no more commercial watching fag for u
Tall Blonde from home: got called a spoiled brat in the process...but who cares
Tall Blonde from home: i've redeemed my coolness
Runner of Blog: i am telling you - give him one week with the thing and you won't be a brat anymore, but a savior to your marriage
Tall Blonde from home: amen
Tall Blonde from home: i told him that if he gets a $2k lawnmower...the least he can do is get me a dvr
Tall Blonde from home: talk abut an effin compromise
Runner of Blog: i like him
Tall Blonde from home: dont encourage it
Tall Blonde from home: its bad enough that he's demanding a cupholder for the thing
Runner of Blog: YES! if i am going to get a lawnmower thats the one so I can hold my beer while i drive it with two hands while wearing a stained wife beater
Runner of Blog: i still don't get how he doesn't want a DVR
Tall Blonde from home: me either?!?!?!
Runner of Blog: It has to be one of the best inventions since 1999; its hard for me to think of another one
Tall Blonde from home: hes not a fan of monthly charges
Tall Blonde from home: it took me a WHILE to convince him that Netflix wasnt the devil

The Fiance is illiterate

The Fiance: i am now up to date on your blog
The Fiance: so reading it to me when i am starving is no longer necessary
Runner of Blog: WRONG
Runner of Blog: always necessary
The Fiance: but i read it myself
Runner of Blog: you can't read
Runner of Blog: no reason to be ashamed of your illiteracy, it effects a lot of people
The Fiance: your a nut
Runner of Blog: at least I am a nut that can read
The Fiance: tool
Runner of Blog: hurts when the fiance calls you a tool takes a bite out of the ol' ego
The Fiance: good
Runner of Blog: but then i remember that the fiance can't read
Runner of Blog: and i feel better about myself
The Fiance: you shouldn't feel better about your self you drunk ass KFC eating...david hasslehoff like....tool
Runner of Blog: hurts a bit
The Fiance: i'm sorry - i needed something after teh "you can't read" thing
Runner of Blog: kind of hitting below the belt, but what else can one expect from a person that can't read and then lies about reading her soon to be husband's blog
The Fiance: i guess one can't expect much more
The Fiance: 13 months today till our wedding!
The Fiance: get ready!
The Fiance: and our 3 month engagement anniversary!
Runner of Blog: might have to rethink this whole thing if you can't read
Runner of Blog: it could affect our children
The Fiance: true, i guess you should think about it...but i gave you that chance prior to sending out the save the dates
Runner of Blog: but thats before the illiteracy thing came up
The Fiance: well you should've known....we've been together over 6 years
The Fiance: you couldn't just have "noticed" today
Runner of Blog: well the fact that you are responding to written words on an instant messenger also gave me a hint
The Fiance: ahhh

Friday, May 11, 2007

Die Hard and Equality

Fraternity Brother Number 1: just read that the 4th die hard got a pg-13 rating, thats gross
Runner of Blog: Horrible
Fraternity Brother Number 1: i had the same reaction. there's a website w/ a petition to change it to R
Runner of Blog: hahaha
Fraternity Brother Number 1:
Fraternity Brother Number 1: its got 559 signatures
Runner of Blog: hahaha u are number 559
Runner of Blog: i want Bruce cursing and yelling at minorities in his standard angry voice
Fraternity Brother Number 1: damn right i am. thats what die hard is!
Fraternity Brother Number 1: why are we becoming such pussies as a society?
Runner of Blog: this is the PUSSIFICATION of America
Runner of Blog: wahhh my 12 year old should see the movie and it needs to be clean - They should! but with cursing
Fraternity Brother Number 1: let me tell you something, I was 7 or 8 years old when i saw the first die hard on hbo, i was 10 when i saw the second, my dad took me to the see the third in the movie theater when i was 14, and i turned out normal
Fraternity Brother Number 1: why do we have to tone everything down for children? we're raising a bunch of ninnies
Runner of Blog: how else are they going to learn how to curse
Runner of Blog: if you want to teach your kid about sex - you just "accidentally" leave porn around - they'll figure it out
Fraternity Brother Number 1: that's the reason i think my dad cancelled HBO after i was 10 or 11
[14:51] Fraternity Brother Number 1: he figured he left it around long enough for me to sneak and watch it, once he knew i had the knowledge, he stopped paying for it
Runner of Blog: once u saw real sex?
Fraternity Brother Number 1: exactly, thats how i learned everything, i used to sneak downstairs to watch hbo once everyone was asleep
Fraternity Brother Number 1: i watched everything man. all the R rated stuff they wouldnt let me see, eddie murphy raw, dice clay, all their porns
Fraternity Brother Number 1: and here i am. still a well adjusted person in society. sure i may laugh at the handicap and terminal diseases, but im not reenacting anything i saw in those movies
[Runner of Blog: ridiculous
Fraternity Brother Number 1: ok, the people who complain are these out of date people in the government. these whiners and complainers in special interests groups, but at some point, weren't they just like we are now. not really offended by much? does that mean one day we'll be the cry babies?
Runner of Blog: No, those people were the liberal tree huggers that i knew in law school
Runner of Blog: they will always be bitching, until they take everything away that i consider American
Fraternity Brother Number 1: hahahahaha, you got a point
Fraternity Brother Number 1: yesterday i went for a walk on lunch and i saw a group of protesters in front of the state house, young college age kids with signs saying 'bush orchestrated 9-11'
Runner of Blog: that seems completely reasonable - bush who can't tie his own shoes orchestrated the death of 5,000 people
Fraternity Brother Number 1: thats what i said. this is a dude who had trouble chewing on a pretzel, but he can pull this off.
Fraternity Brother Number 1: one would think IF he did, he would have at least benefited from it in some way. but i don't see how he could have
Fraternity Brother Number 1: you should see some of the stuff i see people protesting over. living in a city, thats the state capital, thats chock full of young idealogical college kids who wear smart people glasses always have stuff to bitch about
Runner of Blog: Everyone is all for helping people until its their paycheck being raped
Fraternity Brother Number 1: todays protesters were for protecting the people in Darfur
Runner of Blog: where the fuck is that
[15:09] Fraternity Brother Number 1: i dunno, some place in Africa, where the people are being killed, i think
[15:09] Fraternity Brother Number 1: i dunno, maybe im silly, but maybe we should be worrying about our own people. seeing as how this week 6 dudes were arrested for plotting an attack, so obviously the threat is still very real
Runner of Blog: even more basic than that - if there is a homeless person in America he should be helped BEFORE a homeless dude in bumble fuck Africa
Runner of Blog: where most of the people are homeless ANYWAY
Runner of Blog: you have no idea me and constitutional law 2 had some real problems
Runner of Blog: first it would be me vs blacks then me vs women
Runner of Blog: i should not be discriminated against because i am a white Christian male
Fraternity Brother Number 1: i wish i could have taken the class with ya, at least so ya had someone on your side
Runner of Blog: i'd get out and all white males would agree but NO ONE HAD MY BACK
Runner of Blog: left me out to dry
Runner of Blog: i was like the martin luther king, Jr. of white politics
Fraternity Brother Number 1: hahahahaha. im sure the blacks and the women looked at you w/ disgust as well
Runner of Blog: all blacks did - but not all women cause some knew i was right
Runner of Blog: I just feel like shit should be equal across the board, so discrimination is bad but so is affirmative action
Fraternity Brother Number 1: thats where im at. im not racist, id like to see real equality. not equality but leaning in favor of one direction
Runner of Blog: agreed

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Link's (not cool Zelda Link, but the caveman from Encino man) First Entry

Conversation Between Fraternity Brother #1 and Link (not cool Zelda Link, but the caveman from Encino man

Also our first convo where I am not involved

Fraternity Brother #1: I asked Link (not cool Zelda Link, but the caveman from Encino man) if he finally admitted he was dating his woman, and this is what i get (2 hours later mind you)
Link (not cool Zelda Link, but Link from Encino man: yes I admitting it kind have to when you go to hawaii for week with her

Fraternity Brother #1:
there we go slick................not for a long ass time fella. all my money is goin to other peoples weddings hahahaha
Link (not cool Zelda Link, but Link from Encino man: that how have to get it back

Fraternity Brother #1:
i cant even guess as to what hes trying to say there

Jack Bauer Admiration

Fraternity Brother #1: i still want jack bauer to open a martial art school
Runner of Blog: hahahha, or the guy who taught bauer!
Fraternity Brother #1: nope, bauer could beat him
Runner of Blog: u are right but bauer wouldn't teach
Runner of Blog: i always wonder what bauer makes salary wise
Fraternity Brother #1: dude, no joke ive wondered that since season 1
Fraternity Brother #1: he's saved the world a number of times, saved the president even more. i mean they at least have to let him not pay taxes
Runner of Blog: i mean does he just write on his W-4 - Bauer, I have a pass
Fraternity Brother #1: Bauer doesnt have time to add lines A-H
Runner of Blog: a W-2 form can suck his nut sack

Ahhh......Tall Blonde's Crazy Mom and Mexicans

Tall Blonde from Home: i comparison to my wacky mother....his parents are compltely fucking normal
[09:27] Runner of Blog: don't you dare talk shit about your dad - that bear like creature is a wonderful person
Tall Blonde from Home: not him....but his wife, shes a certified looney toon
[09:28] Runner of Blog: i thought i was done for at your wedding when his claws came after me (Note that Tall blonde's father is like 6'11 LITERALLY - the man is more beast than human)
Tall Blonde from Home: did i ever tell you about the mexicans
[09:28] Runner of Blog: the mexicans? well i do know they are an industrious people living south of this great country of ours - their main exports are cheap labor, child prostitutes and drugs
Runner of Blog: they cater to spring breakers who do not like "laws"
Tall Blonde from Home: hahahah this is very true. My story is not about actual live mexicans though
Runner of Blog: despite living in an arid wasteland of a country they are surprisingly good at lawn maintenance
Tall Blonde from Home: they do know a thing or two about proper fertilizing. God bless them and their crab grass killing ways
Tall Blonde from Home: anyway.,....back to my story
Tall Blonde from Home: so the parents come to visit me and the husband in san fran a few years back.... and i have to mention that my mother has this new hobby of passing off other peoples old shit as gifts. She calls it "antiqueing"
Tall Blonde from Home: i call it shit giving
Tall Blonde from Home: so she shows my VERY modern california loft with a gift and there they are....3 1 foot tall paper mache mexican statues
Tall Blonde from Home: now....i'm trying to contain my utter confusion as to why in gods name shes giving them to me...and just say thanks and try not to make a big deal over them because as i learned in an earlier shit giving experience, that the more you excited you seem about this crap...the more you get
Tall Blonde from Home: so a few months go by, and im home visiting for thanksgiving, and voila...shes managed to find 4 more shitty paper mache mexicans
Tall Blonde from Home: at this point im just at a loss for words
Tall Blonde from Home: first of all...who is donating these shitty ugly, scary looking statues on a regular basis...and how is my mother the only person on this planet whos buying them. it doesnt stop at thanksgiving though....shortly there after we get two more in the mail
Runner of Blog: i am crying at work
Runner of Blog: SHE IS MAILING THEM!
Tall Blonde from Home: so if you can this point we have 9 FUCKING GODN AWFUL mexicans in our possesion so whats the next obvious step?
Runner of Blog: more
Tall Blonde from Home: well for christmas we reenact the nativity under our christmas tree using our newfound mexican village
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAH are they cutting your grass? cleaning up baby Jesus' shit
Tall Blonde from Home: absolutely fucking priceless
Runner of Blog: speaking broken english as you beat them for not wiping baby Jesus properly
Tall Blonde from Home: hahahahahhaha if i could have,....i would have made them clean up all the pine needle shit...because thats their fortay
Tall Blonde from Home: so these things became the running joke of the complex....which was fine and good but now that we're about to get a house, im just waiting for the moment that my mother gets there and wonders where the godn damn mexicans are
Tall Blonde from Home: and why they're not displayed and that my why my mother is a looney toon
Runner of Blog: thats incredible where did the mexicans go
Runner of Blog: besides 12 to a low riding car
Tall Blonde from Home: they are buried in a the depths of our storage, i can only pray to go that some hungry mice got to them
Tall Blonde from Home: i even tried to see if i could sell them on ebay
Runner of Blog: hmmm smart call
Tall Blonde from Home: but of course their not worth a dime
Runner of Blog: maybe you can sell them to "Weird Friend that signs online just to make fun of me" and he can start a little village of his people (Weird Friend is of South American Decent - not mexican though)
Tall Blonde from Home: AHAHAHAHAH
Runner of Blog: he can name them after his cousins
Tall Blonde from Home: then maybe i should ask my mom to start looking for more, lord knows those mexicans know how to reproduce

Monday, May 7, 2007

Lunch is important

13:19] Fraternity Brother #1: just had a fat buffalo wrap
[13:19] Runner of Blog: OOO NICE
[13:20] Fraternity Brother #1: homemade, so its made with love
[13:20] Runner of Blog: or cyanide so gf doens't have to go to the wedding
[13:21] Fraternity Brother #1: nope, i made it myself. i cant trust her making my lunch
[13:22] Runner of Blog: hahaha why
[13:22] Fraternity Brother #1: 1. I'm an independent 2. She wouldnt give it the attention it deserves
[13:24] Runner of Blog: probably just throw raw chicken on one piece of bread adn tell you to fucking deal
[13:25] Fraternity Brother #1: exactly, or arrange deli meat flat, so it looks like i have a thin sandwich I dont want a thin sandwich
[13:25] Runner of Blog: cut u off from goodness so you could lose weight when really its her own self image that is the problem
[13:27] Fraternity Brother #1: not even trying to get me to loose weight. but its since she'd not want to make my lunch she'd just throw the meat on the bread. i like to fold the meat as it's placed, gives it some build. i like my sandwiches like i like my men, gurthy
[13:28] Runner of Blog: is that why we are friends
[13:29] Fraternity Brother #1: the only reason
[13:29] Runner of Blog: sweet


[16:39] ] Tall Blonde from Home: im trying to convince the hubby to get dvr at the new house
[17:02] Runner of Blog: NECESSARY
[17:03] ] Tall Blonde from Home: i need one
[17:03] ] Tall Blonde from Home: i feel like ive been missing out
[17:03] Runner of Blog: you are
[17:03] Runner of Blog: bottom line
[17:04] ] Tall Blonde from Home: does it make me less of a person or something?
[17:04] Runner of Blog: you know what it does
[17:04] Runner of Blog: commercial watching fag
[17:05] ] Tall Blonde from Home: damn....i knew you were oging to say that
[17:06] Runner of Blog: you knew i was going to call you a fag?
[17:06] Runner of Blog: wow
[17:06] ] Tall Blonde from Home: with that...i'm going home

Glass Selling Jew's First Post

[13:33] Glass Selling Jew: if u put Runner of Blog's Older Brother in a wig that might b fine (Speaking of hitting on my family members)
[13:33] Glass Selling Jew: lol. that was a joke
[13:34] Runner of Blog: lol you felt the need to specify that it was a joke?
[13:35] Glass Selling Jew: yes
[13:35] Glass Selling Jew: bc he may really have a wig
[13:36] Runner of Blog: blond or black?
[13:38] Glass Selling Jew: no clue
[13:38] Glass Selling Jew: hes ur bro
[13:38] Glass Selling Jew: u live in the same house
[13:38] Glass Selling Jew: im sure uve seen something
[13:39] Glass Selling Jew: maybe u woke up one night and heard the sound of high heels clacking on the floor, then when u looked down in the hallway u saw a pretty ugly husky woman with a 5 oclock shadow
[13:40] Glass Selling Jew: and man boobs instead of real ones
[13:40] Glass Selling Jew: its ok, u can tell me
[13:40] Glass Selling Jew: promis i wont tell anyone else or put u guys on the jerry springer show
[13:41] Runner of Blog: WOW
[13:41] Runner of Blog: only if everyone would chant JERRY JERRY JERRY
[13:42] Glass Selling Jew: im sure they would give u a warm reception

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Please check out a friend

Check out this video -

Sing Billy Sing

[10:52] Fraternity Brother #1:
[10:54] Runner of Blog: put that drunk driving genius to work
[10:55] Fraternity Brother #1: thats what im saying. he needs to get back on the drink. he was on the drink for 20 years and wrote great tunes
[10:56] Runner of Blog: you know whose fault this MADD - freaking house wives that want to stop his creative juices
[10:56] Fraternity Brother #1: so what if he put is car into someones living room. he wrote piano man for christ sakes, he's allowed to
[10:56] Runner of Blog: they are just pissed because their husbands need these beverages to look at their fat inflated asses after 35 years of marriage
[10:57] Fraternity Brother #1: or its because of those beverages that their husbands use them as punching bags
[10:57] Runner of Blog: hahahah - wahhhhh wahhhhhhh he hits me
[10:57] Runner of Blog: well you know what
[10:58] Runner of Blog: he also provides a roof over your head
[10:58] Runner of Blog: since you can't obviously work because you are too damn annoying or just too stupid
[10:58] Runner of Blog: if it weren't for their abusive, drunk husbands they'd be turning tricks for shelter
[10:58] Fraternity Brother #1: its not my fault your a codependent who keeps taking him back
[10:59] Fraternity Brother #1: ha ha spousal abuse
[10:59] Runner of Blog: its a rough topic, but there is more than one side to any controversial subject
[10:59] Fraternity Brother #1: yeah, i always like to explore the other side - that sounded kinda gay
[10:59] Runner of Blog: yup - yes it did
[11:00] Runner of Blog: gays and spousal abuse we are cultured
[11:01] Fraternity Brother #1: culture is for the gays

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Do not buy cufflings

[17:10] Fraternity Brother #1: woman asked me one time, if i would like cufflings as a gift. i told her id swallow them and then shit them onto the floor
[17:11] Runner of Blog: they aren't horrible bro
[17:11] Fraternity Brother #1: as a gift they are...we were just in the store and she asked it as a passing question
[17:15] Runner of Blog: bet she already had them and then cried herself to sleep
[17:15] Fraternity Brother #1: i hope so, with a shitty gift like that she'd deserve a tear stained pillow