Wednesday, June 27, 2007

A Little About Runner of Blog

These are quotes from a professional personality test given to me at work. It gives you an insight to who I am - and if you already know me, just laugh at the accuracy:

I am a "persuader"
Runner of Blog likes quality social relationships, he likes freedom from many controls
he tends to trust people and may be taken advantage of because of his trust
he is gregarious and sociable
He likes feeback from his manager on how he is
He is driven by status and power
when he has strong feelings about a particular problem, you should expect to hear these feelings and they will probably be expressed in an emotional manner
He may leap to a favorable conclusion without considering all the facts
Communication can extend from friendly to argumentative discourse
He tends to influence people to his way of thinking by using verbiage as compared with others who like to use reports
He judges others by their verbal skills and warmth
"He may not understand why everyone doesn't see life as he does!"

Another "conversation" with Weird Friend

[12:09] Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: FEMINIST
Runner of Blog: i can't even take that seriously
[12:09] Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: bro you're practically Rosie o'donnel's assistant
[12:10] Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: you know you want that lesbo ass of hers
[12:10] VWeird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: skidmarked panties and all
Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: bitchass
Runner of Blog: wow

[12:13] Meebo Message: Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me is offline

Another Instance of Fraternity Brother #1's deranged sense of humor

Runner of Blog: dude
Runner of Blog: RANDOM FRATERNITY BROTHER was reading the hofstra alum mag
Runner of Blog: and there was a "FRATERNITY BROTHER #1's Name" who graduated in 2003 (with us) who got married to some asian chick
Franterity Brother #1: They finally put that in
Franterity Brother #1: tell him i want a copy of that - i submitted that about year ago
Runner of Blog: are you serious
Franterity Brother #1: i wanted to see what theyd put in, so i said i married a vietnamese woman ying lao or something to that effect
Franterity Brother #1: everytime i got an issue of the mag, id scour it to see if they put it in and finally they did
Franterity Brother #1: im 100% serious too
Runner of Blog: WOW u are so fucke dup
Franterity Brother #1: thanks buddy
Franterity Brother #1: wow, im so thrilled
Franterity Brother #1: that is exactly why i put it in there for this day. for someone i know to read it and go, 'whaaaaaat'
Runner of Blog: you are insane
Franterity Brother #1: that means so much
Runner of Blog: You just stole RANDOM FRATERNITY BROTHER'S Thunder cause he submitted their wedding also
Franterity Brother #1: im so thrilled today, you have no idea
Runner of Blog: amazing u never cease to amaze
Franterity Brother #1: and that my friend is why i submitted, so people would say that to me
Runner of Blog: JM saw your ad too
Franterity Brother #1: oh the more i hear about it, the happier i am
Runner of Blog: send a picture of you and an oriental off the street to nationals
Franterity Brother #1: an oriental man
Runner of Blog: You are a mess

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Inspiring the Fiancee

The Fiancee: do you think if we snuck by the pool tonight we could put our hands in the wet cement
Runner of Blog: depends will the cement be wet? and can we get past the security guardThe Fiancee: hmmm
Runner of Blog: i am willing to try if you stretch out first. don't want you pulling a hammy
The Fiancee: lol true although i am fast
Runner of Blog: once stretched - before that you are too slow
The Fiancee: lol true
Runner of Blog: hmmm maybe you should start stretching now
The Fiancee: you think?
Runner of Blog: yeah, you probably need a good couple hours of stretching in there before we reach "fast" FIANCE stage
The Fiancee: lol ya or a few years of wokring out...
Runner of Blog: don't get down on yourself, just start stretching now - i'll be home in a few hours from work
The Fiancee: ok

Sometimes you have to Look inward and decide whats important

Fraternity Brother #1: so youve inspired me
Fraternity Brother #1: im going to quit soda cold turkey, im gonna have one today as farewell and then thats it
Runner of Blog: WOW i am pumped for you
Runner of Blog: isn't it funny that we do this shit - Yet we can polish off 8 beers without blinking
Fraternity Brother #1: the irony is amazing when you break it down like that
Runner of Blog: you lift 6 days a week (NOTE Runner of Blog DOES NTO WORK OUT 6 TIMES A WEEK), eat right, quit soda and friday rolls around
Runner of Blog: and you finish 8 beers - a light night
Fraternity Brother #1: with not even a thought of calorie excess
Runner of Blog: even a light beer that equals 880 calories
Runner of Blog: which does not include the amount of food eaten afterward
Runner of Blog: then passing out
Fraternity Brother #1: and then bein hungover the next day, and eating a greesy breakfast and not doing anything all day and if it happens to be a saturday, you then do the same thing sat night, and repeat said greasy breakfast and no activity on sunday
Fraternity Brother #1: but soda is a no-no
Runner of Blog: soda and coffee - OUT
Fraternity Brother #1: they are both evil. beer is our friend
Fraternity Brother #1: me too, hows this for irony. so i go to pick up my last soda. i get back to the office sit down and unscrew the cap, and what does it say, 'congrads you've won a free soda!'
Runner of Blog: Damn it you have to get it, bottom line
Fraternity Brother #1: i dont have a choice - the cap is telling me to get it
Runner of Blog: ZERO choice

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Runner of Blog gets a bit upset

Runner of Blog: i am pissed at you
Tall Blonde from Home: why is that>
Runner of Blog: there is a bud berwery in NH
Tall Blonde from Home: you hormonal or something
Tall Blonde from Home: yes there is
Tall Blonde from Home: i went to a wedding there. Theres also red hook brewery, which ive heard is even better
Tall Blonde from Home: i do it intentionally to hurt you because in all actuallity...i dislike youTall Blonde from Home: hence the reason i talk to you everyday i try to make you hate life through boring and un neccesary conversations
Runner of Blog: U SUCK ASS. ASS SUCKER
Tall Blonde from Home: thats the best you can do? and you have a law degree?
Tall Blonde from Home: id like to see that one used in court
Runner of Blog: i'd be disbarred for the things i am thinking about you
Tall Blonde from Home: "your honor, this man is a menace to society as a whole...he's an ass sucker your honor. THe worst type of criminal
Runner of Blog: why didn't u tell me about this? I dunno around the time I was in that shitty state for YOUR wedding

I learn a little about Smooth before he insults me and Leaves me

Runner of Blog: Lunch?
Smooth as Sandpaper: nope, goin 2 the gym
Runner of Blog: but i am hungry. Want me to wait till after u get out
Runner of Blog: is it me? do u not like me
Smooth as Sandpaper: itz part of it
Runner of Blog: wow only part? if i didn't like someone that'd be most of it
Smooth as Sandpapers: do u really want to wait 2hrs?
Runner of Blog: 2 hours!!!!!!! what the fuck are you doing there
Smooth as Sandpaper: im in the gym for about 2hrs everyday. how do u think i've lost so much weight?
Runner of Blog: drugs - coke head
Smooth as Sandpaper: thas it, dick
Runner of Blog: dick? i am not the one bumping lines to be skinny
Smooth as Sandpaper: nice ur a real good friend
Runner of Blog: u won't even eat with me
Smooth as Sandpaper: i like u as a person, but u usually smell like shit, and itz not really ur fault it is ur heritage greeks usually smell
Smooth as Sandpaper: heres a quick joke 4 u before i leave- what has 4 legs and 4 arms and never works out?
Runner of Blog: i failed to come up with a witty remark, so go for it
Smooth as Sandpaper: marriage
Runner of Blog: WOW not sure if you remember but i just got engaged like 3 months ago u were at my engagement party on sat
Runner of Blog: i could use a bit of optimisim
Smooth as Sandpaper: hey not my fault u have no sense of humor

Runner of Blog: i made it through lunch, but it was hard
Smooth as Sandpaper: good 4 u buddy i had faith
Smooth as Sandpaper: how do u feel about me leaving u mid conversation to go shower
Runner of Blog: not very good. Doesn't leave me warm and fuzzy
Runner of Blog: Hello?

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Despite 6 and half years deep = I still need to share my wisdom with the future wife

THE Fiance: howd it go (referring to my bathroom trip)
Runner of Blog: well
THE Fiance: i'm glad to hear it
Runner of Blog: thanks! I took a little longer just to amek sure i was done
THE Fiance: lol thats good, i never do that
Runner of Blog: got to
THE Fiance: i hate to sit
Runner of Blog: its a necessary
THE Fiance: lol
Runner of Blog: be oine with the toilet
THE Fiance: nah
Runner of Blog: nah?
THE Fiance: don't want to be one with the toilet
Runner of Blog: you have to love the toliet
Runner of Blog: allow it the time necessary
Runner of Blog: never rush

Woe is Fraternity Brother #1

Fraternity Brother #1: so lemme ask ya sumtin
Runner of Blog: k
Fraternity Brother #1: at your place you and fiance have two couches...when you guys are watching tv do you sit on the same couch or separate
Runner of Blog: we were same couch tilla bout 3 months ago when she unilaterally decided that the time spent spreading my legs all over her had to stop
Fraternity Brother #1: hmmmm interesting, maybe im the heartless one then
Runner of Blog: nah i
[12:40] Fraternity Brother #1: i got flack for not wanting to watch so you think you can dance with her, which led to the couch fight
Runner of Blog: i am a sprawler so if she can handle my fat ass all over the couch then i'll stay
Runner of Blog: but if she says anything about moving off her i just leave the couch
Fraternity Brother #1: when your on the same couch, is there cuddling or just you sprawling
Runner of Blog: sprawling[12:44]
Runner of Blog: rarely is their the cuddle on the couch however when there is cuddle on the couch its one of us just lying on the other[12:44] Runner of Blog: which is a just a variation of the sprawl
Fraternity Brother #1: see, she likes when i lay behind her and cuddle on the couch, which is beyond uncomfortable and then i get flack for when i want to move after 5 minutes
Runner of Blog: thats mad annoying
Fraternity Brother #1: you have no idea

Knocking Tall Blonde a few feet down! A MUST READ if you know TALL BLONDE

Tall Blonde From Home: oh and by the way I'm slightly disturbed with your blog post re: the hanger
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHA that went wrong, very quickly
Tall Blonde From Home: my vagina felt violated
Runner of Blog: HA thats rough
Tall Blonde From Home: yeah - just really wrong of your frat brother
Runner of Blog: so it didn't make you feel sexy is what you are saying
Tall Blonde From Home: pretty much the exact opposite. I found myself crossing my legs subconsciously trying to protect my uterus
Runner of Blog: hahahahha HIDE THE UTERUS
Tall Blonde From Home: at all costs
Tall Blonde From Home: the ancient renaissance painters appreciated the uterus...the least you can do is respect it
Tall Blonde From Home: did the davinci code teach you nothing?
Runner of Blog: hahahah - that either da vinci is nuts OR the chruch is Evil
Tall Blonde From Home: well i agree with you on the church thing, but worshiping the puss....he got that part right
Tall Blonde From Home: as stated in the 40 year old virgin "putting the pussy on a pedestal"[11:13]
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHAHA lets slow down
Runner of Blog: da vanici was only putting one puss on a pedestal
Runner of Blog: i.e. the one that birthed the son of God
Runner of Blog: so unless you are pushing out some messiahs slow your roll
Tall Blonde From Home: hahhahahaha pretty sure contributing gargantuan redheaded basketball players to society will be no small fete
Tall Blonde From Home: cause lord only knows that i will one day give birth to papa sized tikes (note that Tall Blonde's genes which make her tall come from her bear like father - see past posts)
Tall Blonde From Home: and yes...the vagina deserves credit for that one
Runner of Blog: while your family might have large heads
Runner of Blog: and large bodies
Runner of Blog: and yes it will suck
Runner of Blog: i will give you a present and a pat on the back
Runner of Blog: you don't deserve the worship of the holy vagina that gave birth on that faithful day which changed the history of the world
Tall Blonde From Home: fair enough
Tall Blonde From Home: and you can keep your pat on the back

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

The conversation takes a wrong turn somewhere

13:25] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: you know what commercial cracks me up?
[13:25] Runner of Blog: go on
Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: its for like a pregnancy test that let's you know like five days after you've had sex if your knocked up or not but the lady in the commercial goes "Imagine knowing your pregnant the moment it happens"
[13:27] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: like, i picture being in the middle of sex and all of a sudden the girl goes "oh crap....we're in trouble"
[13:27] Runner of Blog: hahahha your sperm has penetrated the defenses
Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: "oh shit, its a boy" then you just like pull out cause you're like "well damn, that ruins it for me"
[13:28] Runner of Blog: wow
[13:29] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties lie he is 18: yeah like "shit, let me put my finger up there for a minute, maybe i can take it back before it's too far gone"
[13:30] Runner of Blog: catch the fucker!
[13:30] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: "well should we finish up or should i go get the coat hanger now?"
[13:30] Runner of Blog: why do they have to be mutually exclusive? finish and the coat hanger could be easier to accidentally trip her down a flight of stairs
Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: or you could just leave and stop answering her phone calls and change your address
[13:33] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: little known fact: My name used to be Brian Chatsworth of Erie, Pennsylvania
Runner of Blog: This conversation has gone too far!

Have we advanced as a society? probably not

Runner of Blog: This might be really chauvinistic but I am going to throw it at you
Fraternity Brother #1: Probably not
Runner of Blog: I saw this very hot chick this morning getting out of an 80K SUV
[11:13] Fraternity Brother #1: thats hot
[11:13] Runner of Blog: and i looked and just assumed that her husband made cash
[11:14] mwymantext100: its long island, chances are youre 100% correct
[11:16] Runner of Blog: it didn't dawn on me that she couldn't make her own money lol
[11:16] Fraternity Brother #1: like i said with long island 9 times out of 10 thats not the case
[11:17] Fraternity Brother #1: ill take it one step further 8 times out of 10 for the rest of the country
[11:18] Runner of Blog: hahaha
[11:19] Fraternity Brother #1: if she did make her own money, what do you think she'd be to make that kind of bank?

Monday, June 4, 2007

Tall Blonde from Home goes on a diatribe about her love for Syosset

[10:48] Tall Blonde From Home: i mean look at syosset
[10:48] Tall Blonde From Home: you cant deny even we're better than buffalo.... syosset town that puts natalie portman into the spotlight (Buffalo came up because it was the birth place of an amazing game of KanJam found at )
[10:49] Tall Blonde From Home: geeks everywhere can get theyre rocks off to queen amadala
[10:49] Tall Blonde From Home: therefore making the work a happier place
[10:50] Runner of Blog: those geeks COULD have invented a bomb causing mass destruction if they weren't jerking to Queen
[10:50] Tall Blonde From Home: precisely my point or worse they could have invented computer programs that would make our jobs obsolete
[10:51] Tall Blonde From Home: syossets contribution to this great nation, make that this great planet is monumental
[10:52] Tall Blonde From Home: ((fade into "god Bless America"))

Strippers are bad

Fraternity Brother #1: I'm excited for this weekends strip club. cause itll be all nude and in ac itll prob be trashier
[10:04] Runner of Blog: ac has some dirty strip clubs
[10:04] Fraternity Brother #1: yeah dude. the one we were at on saturday wasnt all nude, which stinks
[10:06] Runner of Blog: in ny 99% aren't all nudes
[10:07] Fraternity Brother #1: a lot in jersey are. but they dont serve alcohol. but will allow you to bring your own in. which is amazing to me
[10:09] Runner of Blog: wow you bring in your own is amazing. So i can see women AND don't have to pay 8 bucks a beer
[10:10] Fraternity Brother #1: seriously. basically you pay a $25 cover, and then the rest can be put towards the dames
[10:22] Runner of Blog: lol dames? you mean sluts
Fraternity Brother #1: yeah i suppose that would be more fitting
Fraternity Brother #1: you a big strip club person?
[10:25] Runner of Blog: i hate strip clubs
[10:25] Fraternity Brother #1: yeah not a big fan of them myself, i never know how to act in there
[10:25] Runner of Blog: its not even that - its the fact that i drop money like its nothing
Fraternity Brother #1: cause you know why?
[10:25] Runner of Blog: THEY ARE NAKED......and i have no will power
[10:26] Runner of Blog: and then what do i get when i leave there? Nothing not even drunk cause i can't afford to give all my money away AND pay for 8 dollar beers

I actually get to respond to Weird Friend....kinda

Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me: PUNK ASS
[14:42] Runner of Blog: what up
[14:42] Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me: THE SKY
[14:43] Runner of Blog: stomach has been off (Note that Weird Friend and I went to the best burger place the day before and I stupidly purchased a milk shake)
[14:46] Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me: HAHAH
[14:46] Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me: you bloody little bitch

[14:46] Meebo Message: Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me is offline

Weird friend Strikes another

Smooth as Sandpaper: gotta love "Weird Friend"
Smooth as Sandpaper: Weird Friend (2:42:09 PM): HEEBEREW
Weird Friend signed off at 2:46:26 PM